The egg blast - Ande ka funda!

Thursday, Nov 20th, 2008. 11:30 am. I was still at hotel, when I realised, its time to move my bum to office. But being 1130 already, it would make sense if I have my lunch at hotel itself.

Some leftover food from yesterday, orange juice, a banana, and a boiled egg would be enuf for lunch. Kept egg in the oven for boiling, meanwhile ate everything else except the banana. Some haste was there in the mind - I donno why. It happens sometimes, that I want to do everything quick.

So, once the oven beeped (indicating that 7 minutes are done for the egg to boil), I took out the bowl, drained the hot water into the sink. Now this great idea came to my 'master mind'. Lets cool the egg quickly, so that even more time can be saved. And what would be better way to cool a boiling hot egg than pouring cold water on it. I held the bowl containing this egg beneath the water tap; and there it went off. The Egg Blasted. Whooooa!!! All the egg yellow on my face and shirt. It hurt all over my face. But it didn't took me even a second - to go to the mirror to see 'How am I looking?'. I was looking great. But WTF! I don't even have a camera. All mismanagement. Well, I enjoyed my own looks. But it hurt. The egg was boiling hot. So, I had to wash it off. With cold water. (I know, I know - I am way too wierd).

Even after the egg was washed away, it left some mark. And my face looked even wierd. With two major marks. On each sides of my cheeks. Red spots. He he he!

Now, with the thanksgiving sale almost around the corner, I have a good reason to buy a camera. I never want to miss any such moments. But it doesn't mean that - I am going to repeat egg blast. Well, who knows. I donno!!!

Room No 325, Firodiya Hostel, Pune

"Arey yaar, aise lagta hai ki 'is' ladki ko pehle kahi dekha hai?"
"Hmmm. Ronnie ki party mein?"
Doesnt really matters who asked the first question and it doesn't matter about whom. Who ever replies, answer used to be always the same. Generally sitting on one of the bikes at the favourite parking lots, be it KNP, FC Road or MG Road.

Some of the dialogues never changed whenever 2 or more of VAPVAKAP is together; whether Pank has his semesterly injury/fracture or Vikash having a major one. For any tiny miny favour, "Tere liye kya re pagle" is the best dialogue suitable.

I still remember that hot sunny sunday. Got up with hell lot of lazyness (this was not a new thing, but being a sunday, lazyness is official), and did some weekly chores like laundry n 'Sunday Times'. After munching on some not-so-tasty-but-still-overeaten-feast in the hostel mess, everyone gathered in Room no - 325. Abhay is in a good mood, and everyone took this opportunity to request him for a 'tabla' session. The image is still on my mind - Abhay on the top bed in the middle of the room, and everyone else occupying his own bed, and parasites like me n Prit joined someone after encroaching their beds. I don't remember, though, whom I joined. (Should be Prit, somehow ;-) ) Well, so, as far as I remember, Abhay played 'tabla' for over half an hour, and when he looked down to see everyone's response - O M G! Everyone was sleeping. What a soothing 'tabla' session it was.

When it comes to eating out, we had very less options available. Number one reason is - everyone is strictly vegetarian, non-drinking fella. Number two, but important one, is - everyone was keeping a tight watch on the pocket. As generally teens do. But dropping bike keychain in the glass of water at Hotel Subhadra is one of the silly reasons, for which we laughed our stomachs out.

And "Yusuf" by Vijay (at Nandu's Dhaba) is so silly and wierd, but so magical, that I still laugh over it. Now with everyone scattered across geography, I dont know whom can I say this - "Ek tu hi hai is duniya mein".

When it comes to pairing, I think, Viju-Vikash is the most romantic one. That's why even today, all the journeys from Singapore to Jalna go via Hyderabad. Ha Ha Ha (If any bhabhi is reading this, please excuse us).

"Agar tere dil me ishwar hai, aur agar tera pyar sachcha hai....to wo ladki palat ke dekhegi". I think, this dialogue was used, whenever someone wished, that the beautiful gal should again look back. Complete filmy. Too Wierd.

Well, VAPVAKAP, I still have those papers on which it is documented sometimes in 1998 that 'what kind of life partner I am looking for" by 5 of us. I know, its the right time to scan those and upload/distribute, but let me make tall n big promise here - I am doing it very soon.

Room No 325 is one place, where I got most of my laughters and my 'life' really sounded like a 'laugh' riot.

Phoonk Phoonk Phoonk le..

Well, its nothing that I hate smokers. So many of my close friends are smokers, regular smokers, irregular smokers. (No chain smokers yet - may be that we all are too young). I really hate myself being a non smoker (or non regular smoker ;-)) - but I will never consider myself a nonsmoker because I always find smokers the most interesting people at the table.

I believe - A cigarette is the perfect type of a perfect pleasure. It is exquisite, and it leaves one unsatisfied. What more can one want? But still following negative poem about smoking got composed in some wierd mood.


With the Butt between the fingers,
For the style's sake,
The brain is oozing with confidence,
So what if it's fake.

The smoke between the lips,
The puff of completeness
When clouds of smoke themselves,
Talk of void and emptyness.

Time to run away from worries,
And the internal screams
While smoke clouds taking shape,
Of dozens of depressed dreams.

With eyes irritated and itching
Kick to the brain, lungs going mean
And then the smoky blurr vision,
Helping the harsh reality not to be seen.

The oeverwhelming feeling of doing,
great and something,
Is nothing but nicotine's version,
Its all illusions, but doing nothing.

Still with the butt between the fingers,
the mischief of going great guns,
Even if it feels like a man, a king
Its still being a king of bums!!!

The Warning - http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tobacco_packaging_warning_messages

"Cigrette is absolutely harmfull for health, body and people around!"

The death of 'Sober' myself!

It was this during the first few days at Lahoti hostel - Aug/Sept 1996. But let me give you a background on what type of sober teenager I was.Till my class 12th, I was not used to utter any 'g' or 'c' or 'f' or 'bc' or 'mc' words. Lets call this category of words as '*' words. (Do you want me to provide a list of abbreviations used and the longform at the bottom of this page?) In fact, if A and B (and I am C) are using those words frequently, I used to maintain a distance. (praaji, oye mai kiya, distance maintain karee). And when people used those words, I used to go by the meaning, and think of those fellas a disgusting and wat not!

So, after my admission to Pune for Engineering (now, dont ask me if I am really an engineer?), and consequent admisson to V. N. Lahoti hostel, 1099/A, Model Colony, Pune-16, I came to know across few gents(?) who used to have more '*' words than actual words. That was so disgusting. I was totally confused - how come people as brilliant and from such a reputed social background may be using all those words - that too so frequently, with everyone, and everyone around. In the initial few days, I mastered the art of appearing for ragging - and how to entertain seniors in a better way. Learnt a few adult jokes from college and memorised them; so that I can impress seniors. (Isn't there a better way?)

So this guy - Bawa, as we call him now - Amit, Anand Bhaiya's aide; called me in his room. Along with Amit, there were few others in the room - Anand Bhaiya, Girish, Mahesh, Rahul, Pavan. So after the initial few routine ragging questions, I was told to sit and relax (Thanks to Anand Bhaiya - my protective shell). Bawa asked me if I use those '*' words; and asked me 'why not' for which I really had no answer. Bawa - "Gaali dete waqt (ya lete waqt) uska meaning mat dekh, uske piche ke emotions dekh". "Ab agar corner pe tera zhagda ho gaya aur gaali galoch ho gayee to tu kya kar lega? Itni himmat aur takat to hai nahi ki maarpit karein? To kam se kam gaali dekar apni bhadaas nikal le...ha ha ha" Typical Bawa laughter, joined sincerely by Girish and Rahul.

After asking Anand Bhaiya to leave the room (I wouldn't be comfortable in my first reciting of these special '*' words in his presence), I was asked to start uttering those '*' words in a loop; until I finish. And yess, my performance was not that bad. I scored well; apart from fluency. And it began from the first month, and will continue till I am able to speak. Just the difference is - a bit of control over volume and location.

Once Dhaval and I were in some tension (after kickin one job, and the other kicking us harder), I honestly requested dhavalya for his special 'mc'. I ended hugging him in love, once he said 'mc daga'! (Friendly love, mind you).

Pathetic Pessimistic Poem

Time kept changing each day n night,
Scene kept changing between dark n bright,
Before I could analyze, the opportunity fades away...

Taken efforts to befriend life with full might,
Fell in love with life more than vision of sight,
Efforts or endeavors, tear washes them all away...

Many destinations could have been for me right,
All the paths lead to failures tight,
Before I get conscious, direction betrays me all the way...

Buds do flower, mates do unite,
Those shrunk in winter never blossom is flower's plight,
Special ones who go, will be gone forever and far away...

There I am. I don't believe I had composed this pathetic pessimistic poem. Now if I apply my brains to find out, if life is really such a tough burden on me, I think - its not. Life can never be burden, atleast on a not-so-human-being like me - who doesn't give a damn to so many things. Who cares, where ever I land up. What I care is - its going on and on and on.

Well, when I shared this depressing non-sensical peom with few people, the remarks I got were like this "Oh. Delete it immediately", "Raw-Pure-Good", "Good One", "Okkkaaaaaaaaayyyyy", "Silence", "Are you the poet?" (Well, it means, that if I was not the poet, he would have cribbed like hell). I know, I know - when emotions, negative emotions conquer your logical part of the brain, everything looks bad. There seems no hope of life, just like the relationship blues or the joblessness blues.( or I don't know what other blues are there.)

I guess(yeah, guess), the poem talks more about failures. Because, in life we all do take risks. Risk of all natures - financial risk, relationship risk, career risk, legal risk, physical risk, emotional risk, life risk, risk risk. Did I say risk risk? I need another page to tell you what I mean by risk risk. Even then no one will understand. So forget it at the moment.

But to understand your own life a bit, do take risk. Stretch yourself a bit too far. No one else understands and care for your emotions, not even your own brain. But, I believe, there's someone always, who understands u. And I got mine.

The Gilroy Visit

So, I received a call at 07:03 am - that early on a sattiday morning. Its not that I had a tiring week or a number of drinks on friday evening; its just my mindset that an early morning call on sattiday is never good. Well, so it was Victor on the other side, asking me to get up and be ready for a visit to Gilroy. Gilroy Outlet is just another shopping place which is cheap and has moderate quality and may be today's fashion. (Am I too old to keep pace with what's happening in the fashion world).

The journey started with we boarding the tram from Karina station. We being a group of 7 people, and for some reason, the tram didn't have any vacant seat near the door where we boarded. There were just 6 seats vacant towards this door, of which 5 got occupied. So me and Don moved to the other part of the bogey - and happen to cross the bike parking place (inside the tram). The American's do call bicycles as bikes. There was some old whinning gentleman holding onto his bike in this area, which was not parked on the stand. And its un-convenient for anyone (including this oldie) if someone is crossing this area to go to the other side of the tram. So, well, when we were crossing, I did hear the taunt - "Don't you know which door to enter the tram". Mind blowing - I got the trigger for some mischief after a long while.

So, me and Don seated facing him, and started observing - how so many people crossed this area and how everytime, the expressions on Old man became the same, which we saw the first time. An old lady, while crossing, got her jacket entangled with the bike's rear view mirror, and we instantly burst into laughter. I know, I was going insane, but I love this. We were quite alert that the no one else notices/understands why are we laughing, so that no one is disturbed/hurt (Oh, what a sober soul I am!). So after some time, we called Victor on phone (who was on the other side of the tram) asking him to be with us, as we want to decide on the plan for the day; even if actually there was nothing to be decided. (We were talking as if we are planning to have some major mission, and planning is critical.) So, when he was crossing, he also got some taunts, and seeing our faces at that time, he immediately understood, why did we call him. Heavens! I had a good laugh after a long while.

So, going ahead, this interesting Oldie got down at one station before us. After reaching Santa Teresa, we waited for some time, and got onto 68 bus. The bus took roughly 50 minutes to reach our destination. During the journey, I did see some country side. Yess, there were no houses, no highways, no flyovers, no signs of urbanisation! It felt good. Green fields, mountains in the background. There's one thing which is peculiar to the mountains I see here. Mountains are truly western. On the nudity aspect. Yess. Mountains are nude. There are hardly any trees, bushes, grass or weeds on them. I hate it. But mountains are still mountains. I love them. Well, I instantly had this thought to inform my family n friends, that I am going to settle here, please packup and join me. But the next moment, I got back to reality. No one would join me, and I would die of 'not seeing human being' for a long time. Me being a people's person, love people. I love objects and materials too. But I love human more, even if I fight and crib about humans more than objects and materials.

Well, after alighting from the bus, it was around 20 min walk to the Gilroy Outlets, where we roamed a lot, and shopped a little. Had some 'Large French Fries and Meduim Orange Juice' at McD (McD &^%*&^%$ don't have any non-meat burgers/salad with them). But its okay, I am still fit to survive. (I live my life around this statement - Survival of the fittest) Kar lee dialoguebaazi. Bhar gaya jee.

Hmmmmmm! Way back, we be-friended one Abdul on the train. And he was no way lacking in trying to convince/explain/guide us for the US H1 visa and gave some leads. I said "Thanks a lot, Abdulbhai" (As if I am going to immediately think about this H1 thingy).

Overall, it was a fulfilling day - as I got up early, got a chance to laugh my brain out, still keeping my face like an innocent tourist, got some items at good deals, and got some leads for US H1 visa (as if I care a damn).

Why do I want to blog???

Why do I want to blog? Do I have something in my mind (or my heart, if I really have one) to tell someone, to convey someone? Why don't I directly catch 'this' someone and spill everything ? Or is my life so interesting and full of events, so I want to broadcast to a wider audience ? Or is it, that I want to impress people with my writing ? Na na na. The last statement was a bit too much. I know I know. When will I stop this 'self praise'. Someone very close to me is always so irritated, when I am in this 'self praise' mood. But I can't help it. I really know that those who get a chance to read my stuff, get a chance to be around me, are friends with me, are really lucky people and are blessed ones. There I go, "Tu kabhi nahi sudhrega na, Akaash" (Reference - Dil Chahata hai). You are going to find so many movie dialogues in my blogs, if at all I continue to write. So, better be equipped or, better even, ignore. Huh!

Well, so back to square one - why do I want to blog ? Is it because my friends do so ? Or is it because its the 'in' thing nowadays ? Well, then my friends are all weird - each one of them. God has picked up best of the wierd lots and placed them on this planet and time, so that I am friends with them. Each one wierd in his/her own way. But not every one of these wierdos are bloggers. Just a few of them. And I am regular visitor to none of their blogs, except for Vindy's. Yess, for my own selfish reasons. Yess, I am one of the characters in his blogs. So what, if I am playing a character role, I am still a hero in that character role. Here I go - I too am weird. I know I know. But I like being such. But where am I going now? I am here to find out - why do I want to blog?

One of my close friends Jennifer (name changed upon request - he he he) whom I have frequent mail/chat communication with, is impressed with the way I write. She likes the way I tell stories and incidences. And she keeps asking me - whether I blog? Why not and all - blah blah blah. I am happy with whatever writing I do, in the form of chats, text messages, mails (official and unofficial), poems. And she being a wierdo, likes my writing. I know, there are a lot of people, who will throw rotten eggs n tomatoes over my writing - why the hell I am going ga-ga over my own writing skills? Am I trying to find an excuse here - why do I want to blog?

Is it that I have more than 24 hours in a day, so that I have additional time for blogging and all ? Well, let me start using a wrist watch. Who knows, the moment I stopped using my wrist watch, I have been gifted some additional minutes each day. A lot of neatness can be brought into my life, if I use these few minutes. But who cares for the neatness - a neat life will be so boring life. Do I mean here, that my life is interesting ? With lots of happenings every few weeks/months and lots of ups and downs? Well, I honestly do not have an answer - why do I want to blog?

Why do I want to blog? Why? Why? Why?